Tuesday, January 15, 2008 , 6:27 AM

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO DUE 2OO DA SCREAMS OF " HAZIYAH!!CHANEL!! HAZIYAH CHANEL ALI!! UPDATEE LAAAAAAAAA!!" PERSISTENTLAYY ECHOIN N RESONATIN IN MA DELICKKATE EAR DRUMS THESEE PAST FEWW WEEKS, THESE PAST FEWW DAYS N THESE PAST FEWW HOURS O SECKKONDS TOO, I UPDATE LAAAAAA!!

SPECIAL DEDICKKATION: 2OO MA BAYBEHH BAYBEHH C BABY BABY CEE?? BABY CEE MUS EAT NUGGETT FASTER AH!! WAIT MUS STRAHTAHGIZE SOO MANAY COMPLEEKATED STRATAHGIES 2OO CONQUER WHOOWHOO>>??<< SHWEETIE BAYBEE CEE WENT TO SKEWL ONE DAY!! EYES HEAVY LEADEN WIT GRAVITATIONAL PULL U BARELAYY SEE HER EYEBALLS STARIN BACKK AT U!! SDDNLAY!! SHE HEARD ------- THE VOICE!! ACCOMPANIED BY-------THE SOUNDD!! HER BABY CELLO N BAYBEHH GUYY FEW CENTIMETRES AHWAY FWOM HER BABAYYY CELLOOOOO!! WITHIN SECKKONDS, U SEE BABY C WITT HANDS HEAVILY N ACKKTIVELAYY PLUCKIN DA STRINGS OF HER HUMONGOUSLAYY TOWERIN CELLO!! CONGRATUHHLATIONS BAYYBEHH CEE FER DIS WUNDERFULLAYY ROMANTISTICKKALLYY FACKKTUAL EVENTTTTTT!! CLAPP CLAPP CLAPP!! WEN U GETTIN MARRIED?? U SAY U MARRY DEN U WAN TREAT ME?? BY DA TYM MARRIED U BUY IPOD OOLEDI AH??? WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
< FER THOSE WHO ARE UNDER SEVERE SUSPENSE UPON WHO IS THE IDENTITAY OF BAYBEHH CEE, I ENSURE U REVELATION IS ON ITS WAY BUT U WILL BE CERTAIN IF U SUSPECKKT MEANS ITS NAWWT U BUT IF U DUNT N U ARE FLOODED WIT DATT WEIRDWEIRD !!ONOOO!!ONOOO!! CONFIDENCE DEN ITS U AHH LYKK WHOO BAYBEHH CEE????? I WUNDAHHH AH IF DAT CLOSE-TO-CELLOBABYYGUY WORKKS IN SAKAE SUSHIII, MAYBEE SHE LEFT OUT DA PART WEN SHE TOTT IT WAS SUSHI SHE SMELLED N DETECKKTED SUSHI DEN SHE TRAILED DA SUSHI SMELL N BANGGED ONTOO MISTASUSHIGUY!!!!!!!! CLAPCLAPCLAPPPPP!! WHO FELL ON WHOO?? WHO CAPPTURE WHOO?? WHOS EYES SEE WHOS EYES FIRST??? WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

2MOLO: PEOPLEE WHOO GOTT EYES MUS WATCH DEAL OR NO DEAL DEN U CAN PLAY DA CHOOSE CHOOSE WHOO HAWWT WHOO NAWWT HAWWT GAME AHH VELII SHEEYOKKK OONEE!! BUT SO FAR ALL PUREBLOODED AHH SOOO BAWWWRINGGG DA HAIR I GOO VOTE MISTAA ARIGATOKK AH!!! WOOOOOOOOOO LYKK MISTAA GEYSAYZERR XXXX AHH!!

2OODAY: WHOO TAKE 969INE?? WHO?? WHOO?? I DEMAND FER A REUNIONN 2OO MERGE OUR HEADS AS ONE N REVEAL 2OO DA WORLD OF DA HORRORS OF XPERIENCIN DIS FURRRWEEKAYY INCIDENT IN DAT PARTICULARRR BUS AHH!!
WAT A WUNDDAHHFULL DAYY DA WIND BLOWW MA HAIR BLEWW N SASHAYYED HERE DEHH SWING BANG ONTOO PILLARS DENN BROUGHT BACKK IN2OO ITS ROOTS AFTAA FEWW SECKKONDS WOOOOOOHHHHHH XZACKKTLAYY LYKK DATT CLEAR OR HEAD N SHOULDAAS SHAMPOO ADVERTISEMENT I NOEE I NOEEEEEE!! DEN BAYBEE C LEFT ME HER UMBRELLAA DEN I WOKKED ACROSS DA INTACHANGE DEHH STRUGGLIN 2OO OPEN TILL DAT GUNABLINGBLING FILE OOMOS FLEWW OUTT AHH!! DENN WENN IT FEENAHLAYY OPENED I CONFIDENTLAYY WALKED ACROSS DA ROAD DEN I REACHED DA NEARBY ROOFIN COVERED AREAA DEN TURNED BACKK OONI 2OO REALIZED IT WAS JUS A DRIZZLE AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! DEN AHH!! I STRUGGLED CLOSIN IT IT OOMOS ATE UP MA SILKAYY SKINNS DAT ENVELOPEDD MA FINGERS AHH!! WOOOHHH DA MEHHTALL!! NO WONDAA I SELDOM USE UMBRELLAA UNLESS GOTT SUN DEN USE BLACKK UMBRELLA N BLOCKK ENTIREE PASSAGE OF SUN TO A HUNDREDD PURRCENT AH!! SOOO I WAIT NONGNONG ALL DA BUS NUMBAAS ARRIVED XCEPT DA OONE I SPPOSE 2OO PLACE MA ASS ON2OO AHH!! DENN AHH!! WEN IT FEENAHLAYY ARRIVED I USE MA BAGG BANGG HERE BANGG DEHH DEN LOOKED UPP ALL DA SITS OCCUPIED OOLEDI SOO I BANGG TO NEARBY PLASTICKK PILLAR OR WALL LYKK STRUCKKTURE IN DA BUS SOO CAN LEANN!!
DENN
NASTY SMELL ARRIVES AHH!!
INFACKKT AHH
ALL DA UNFORTUNATE 969INE PASSENGERS WAS SMACKKED BY DAT STINKISHLAY AROMAA!!
I FEEL FAINTT!!
I FEEL FAINTT!!
I FEEL FAINTT!!
I FEEL FAINTT!!
I FEEL FAINTT!!

LOOK TO DA RIGHTT GOT NUTHANG BUT STAIRRS, LOOK 2OO DA RIGHT OONE APEKK LIFT UPP HIS ARMPIT N REACHEDD FER DA SKY FINDINN FER RAILIN 2OO SUPPORT HIM WEN BUS BRAKES AH!! THEREFORE DA ASSUMPTEEYONN OF DA SOURCE OF SMELL IS BEIN SMACKKED OVA 2OO HIM AHH!! UNTIL FIRST STOPP DEN DA MAN GOO FURTHER INN 2OO DA REAR OF BUS!!
BUT WHYY DAT SMELL STILL DEHH AHH???????
SO I LOOOKK FER ANAYY SUSPEECIOUS SMELLINDUCED CHARACKKTORRS DENN MA EYES LANDEDD ON OONE LAYDAYYY
CLADD IN NOTT-HER-SIZEE SHOOEE, ADORNINN OONE DRESS WHICH HAS 2OO LOWW CUTTINGGS UNDER HERR ARMPIT AHH!! BUT SHE NAWWT SOO THIN OOSO SOO SUM SKIN IS BLOCKIN SUM **OOOPPS**OOOPSS** REVELATEEYONN OF SUMM BULUBULU?? USUALLAY IN BUS FLOODED WITT PPLE HUMANS WILL SITT SIDE BY SIDE WITT HUMANS O BUTT NOOOOOOOONOOONOOOOOOOOOOOOOONOOOOO DATT LADAYY AHH SAT SIDE BY SIDEE WITT OONE BIGG BLACKKK BAGG AHH DENN ON TOPP DEHH STUCKKK PINKK BABAYY CROCC SHOES AHH!! DENN AHH VELII SIANN NUTHANGG POSTERR WUNDAAHHFULL THANG 2OO LOOKK SOO I SEE WAT SHEE DOOWIN SINCE SHE RIGHT IN FWONT OF ME WATT!! SHE TOKIN 2OO DA CROC SHOEE AHH!!!!!!! TOKIN U NOE TOKIN TO DA CROC SHOEEEE!! SHE NODD HER HEAD SHE SHRUGG SHRUGG DEN SAYY I DUNNOO IN MALAYY 2OO DA SHOEE WAHHHHHH WAHHHHH HAIRS I DINT NOE WAS AVAILABLE IN MEE STOODD ON ENDS AHHHH WONDAHHFULLLLL!! IM MOREE XPOSED 2OO BULUBULU N HAIRRS XZISTENCE NOWWWWW!! O DENN FWOM ALLLLLLLLL DA PLACES IN DA WORLD N IN DA BUS DA COUPLE IN FWONT OF DATTT FURWEEKILAYY INSANEEEE LAYDEHH BOARD OFF DA BUS NXTT STOPP DENN I HAVERNTT GOO TOILETT I DOWANN STAND DA WHOLE XPWESSWAYY SOO I SAT DEHH AHH DENN LOSE MA SENSE OF SMELLL U NOEE MAYBEE FEREVAHH????? N EVAHH EVAHHH??? N EVAHHHHHHHHHH?????? O NOOOOOO WHYYY WHYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYY???????
DENN I SPRAYYED ON MA VEINS 2OO PROMOTEE DIFFERENTT N FWESHER VARIATIONSS OF DIFFUSIONNN IN DATT WUNDAHHFULLLAYY ENCLOSEDD BUS AHH!! DENN MAHLOOO WATT I SPRAY OONE SIDE OONI AHH!! IN CASE DAT LAYDEE BSIDE MEE GOTT ASTHMAA SMELL DA SPRAYYY DENN WEE SMACKED IN DA MIDDLE OF XPRESSWAY DENN I DA OWNER OF DA PERFOOOMM DEN WAIT MUS DOOOO CPEE R HOWWWWWWWWWWWWW?? LIPPS ON LAYDEEHHH AH?? OOOOO HAWWWREEBLEE HAWWWREEBLEEE!! IF U SAYY DA LIST OF MA HUBBIES LYKK DATTT OONE OR ALL OOSO CANNNN!! O SO I SPRAYYED DEN DA REST OF DA STORAYY I CONT 2MOLOO NOW I WAN RMOVEE DAT BLACKK BLACKKK PANDAAA THANGG UNDAA EYES AHH!! PUT SPOON AH?? SPOON IN FWEEZERR?? MORNIN TAKEE OUTT PUT ON EYES AH?? HOWW NONGNONGG??



Tuesday, January 8, 2008 , 4:06 AM

WOHHHHHWOOHHHHHWOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
NEWW SKEWWLL YEARR - NOO CAWWMMENTS
OLD PPLE IN SKEWWLL - WAHHHLIAOOOOOOOOOOO IF DUNTT SITT DEHH WAIT GUILTAYY IF SITT DEHH DENN GEREKK WAIT DA OTHERR PLACE SPPOSE 2OO SITT BUT NAWWT SITTIN DEHH WAITT OONCE AHHGAIN WAT UUUU FEEEEEEELLLL=== GUILTAYY AHHHH SO IN DA END WHEREE U GOOOO WAT U DOOO???? TOK ON DA FONE N GAWWT HIGHH BLADDERR PWESSURE LITERALLAYY REELL OONE AHH!! DENN MUS RUN TOILETT, TOILETT FULL, GOO 2OO ANOTHAA TOILET, NOO DETTOLL SOAPP, GOO ANOTHAA TOILETT, MA FAV SITT TOILET UNAVAILABLE, GOO FINAL TOILETT NOOOO TOILET PAPERRR AHHHHHH!!!!!!! WONDAHHHFULL WONDAHHFULL OTHAA THEN DATT I GAWWT NOO CAWWMMENT U NOE XCPT I DEECOVER MANAYY PPLE HAND N CHINN LOSE SUM SKINN N WEIGHTT LYKK DAT U NOEEE SUM FWOMM 228EIGHTT SUMM 231OONE EVEN DA PERSON TYPIN DIS OSOO AHH!! AWWWHHH OFFFFFFF COSSSSSSSSSS!!

PEOPLEE!!PEOPLEE!! CHANEL ALI IS IN YJAYY AHH, HER THIGHS ARE SUNGGUH SUNGGUHH DA NAWWT FLABBAYY AHHHHH!! O NOO NOOO NAWWT RUN BERIBU KM THROUGHH TRACKKS OONE!! O NOO GYM OOSO NAWWT!! GYM UNDA RENOVATION OONE!! DUNNO Y OOSO YJAY DA GYMM SUNGGUH DA NAWWT POPULAA XCPTT FERR MA BEHHLOVERED YOGAA BALL AHH!! O MAYBEEE BCOS SUMBODAYY INJUREDD USIN OONE RUSTEDD EQUIPMENTT DEN DA BOLTT RUSTT BWOKE OFF N LANDED ON A SKIN SURFACE AREA THEREFORE DEYY IMMEDIATELAYY RENOVATE N FLOOD DA GYMM WIT NEWW EQUIPMENTS AHH WITOUTT ANAYY ANNOUNCEMENT OONE AH!! O SOOO AHH DA THIGHS RECIPE IS FWOM WHERE?? TOILETT LAAA!!!! BLADDERR XPLOSION U GOO WHERE??? TOILETT WATTT!!! YJAYY WEN BLADDER WAN XPLODE DO U HAVEE A SECONDD 2OO CHOOSE WAT VERSIONN OF TOILET BOWWL U WANN??? DUNT HAVE AHHHH!! SOO U RUSH 2OO DA DOOR WIT GWEEN LABELL N AJAR OONE!! NAWWMALEE DAT VERSION OF TOILET AVAILABLE IS WATTTT??? DA STOOOOOPID SQUATTIN TOILET BOWWL AHH!! WAHHH U PEE N PEE N PEEEEEEE AKA U SQUATT N SQUATT N SQUATTT UNTIL THIGHHS BCUM SOLIDD AHH!! I REPEATT AHH!! SOOOOLIDD!! S- O - L - I - D!!
MRS GUNAAA MRS GUNAAAA, SHE READS SOOO MUCH PAPER, I DUNT NOE IF SHE CANN SURF DA NETT READIN BLOGGS BUT AS WEE NOEE WEE DUNT SEE HER AS A ' TECHHNOLOGICALL-INDUCED' PERSON THUS I CONTINUEE BERR-BLOGGBLOGG BOUT HER AHH!! OOOOO SHE ASK BUY DIS SHE ASKK BUY DATT SHE ASKK PASTE DIS DAT ON FILE IN DA ENDD WATTT HAHHPPPPPENNN????
WEEEEE
KENNAAAA
CHANGEEEEE
CLASSSSSSSSSS
AHHHH!!!!!!
INCLUSIVE OF PAEE PPLE SMMORE WHOO I OOWAYS HEAR IN TOILET SOO ENTHU WIT DA CHEER DEYY LEARNN IN DA CANTEEN WENN PPLE CONCENTRATIN ONN SMELLIN DA MYOJOO SEEFOODD NOODLE DEN SCREAMIN DEIRR HEADDS OFF THEIR SOCKKETS WIT DA CHEER AHHH!! I LOSTT MA SMELL DETECKKTIONS FER SEVERAL MIN AS DEIRR CHEER ECHOED HERE N DEHH!! O WAITT WAITT!! LEMME DESCRIBE DA CHEER IN OONE WORDD AHH= PURELYMONOTONEE AHH!! MEANS AHH UTTERLYY TOHHTAHHLEE SUNGGUHH DA NAWWWTT MELODIOUSS CAAAAAANNNN!!

CLAPP CLAPPCLAPPP!! 2OODAY FIRST DAYY MA FTHR FETCH MEE NOWW DEN I REALIZE AHH!! NOO WONDAA I WAKE UPP LEGG ACHINN AHH!! DEN TOEE ITCHAYY SMMORE DUE TO TOOO LONG HOURS OF TOES SUFFERIN BENEATH SWEATINDUCEDD YET SUMWHATT AROMATICKK INDEEDD SOCKKS AHH!! I WALKK WALLKK WALLLKKKKKKKKKKKK TO BUS STAWWP TAKE BUS MEET HERE DEHH HANGG HERE DEHH DENN RETURNN AHHH!!!!!!

CALLIN FERR TOYOTAAA ALTIS SERVICEE PLEEEEZZ ZWANKK YEWWW!!





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