O.MWAAAAHHHH.GAWWWWWDDD
I FERGAWWT AHH YEST XMAS AHH!!
BCOSS AHHHH:
1) IN DA WEE WEE HOURS OF DA MORNIN, WEN EVWEEONE IS STRAPPED BENEATH POSH BLANKETS WIT EYELIDS TIGHTT SHUTT IN DAT DREAMM DREAM IS MY MODE TYPE, MY UNCKLE AND AUNTIE DIALED OUR FONE NUMBERS HENCE DATT WONDAHHFULL ALARMINGG SHRILL SHRILL RINGTONES WAILINN FER DAT FONE 2OO BE ANSWERED AND ECHOIN THROUGHH DA ENTIREE TAMPINES DESTRICT WHICH IS STILL BUSYY PROHHDUCING NON-STOP LOUDD SNORES DAT MAKE THOSEE MAMMAL HAIRS OF THOSE AWAKEE PRICKKLE LYKK DURIANN AHH WITOUTT GATSBY CONFIRM OONE!! BUT CANN BEE APOHHLAGIZED OONE SINCE MA AUNTY AND UNCKLEE CAME 2OO OUR HOUSE AFTAA RETURNIN FWOMM MA FIANCE DA BIRTHPLACE LONNNN-DONN-DONNN AHH DEN I TINKK DEY GOTT JET LAG AHH SOOO NMMIND NMMINDD!! OOOO BUT I LURRRRRRRRRRRRBB DEIR GIFTTS AHHHHH!!!!!!!!! O NOO NOOOO!! NAWWT JERSAYYS BUT BIGG BIGGGGGG B I G GG GGGGGG EIFFEL VELVETT KEYCHAINN N DUNNOO OONE BAGG FERR DA EZEE LINK OONE U STRAP ON UR BELTT LYKK CHRIS BROWNN STYLEE OOOO SMOHHKINGGG HAWWTTTT!!
2) AFTAA MA AUNTIE N UNKCLEE LEFTT 2OO GOO MA GRANDPOPPAA HOUSE AHH DENN ANOTHERR AUNTIE N UNCKLEE CAME AHH!! DENN MA MOTHER SHOTT THE WORDS " LETS GOO SWENSON 2GEDA GEDA" I DUNTTTCHH LYKK AHHH!! DUNNO HOWW MANAYY YEARS WEE NVAHH EAT UNDER TAMPINES ROOF AHH!! DEN I TINKK MA NERVOUS SYSTEMM SPOILL AHH!! EVAHH SINCE GOO DIS WONDAHHFULL SKEWWL CALLED ( WHYY JAYY CEE) AHH!! ANYYTHANGG WHYYJAYY RELATED OONI WAIT FIRST FEWW SEC XCITEDD DEN THROAT OOSO AFFECKTED AH!! BUT AFTA CONSTANTT BUTTERR N KAPAKKS DEN NERVOUS SYSTEMM WILL WEANEE AHHWAYY N BACKK 2OO HUMAN FORMM LAA DEYY!! BUT AHH SOOO LEYYCHEHH AHH EVWEETYMM MUS FLOOD DA MOUTHH OF VICKKS HERE VICKKS DEHH KAPAKK HERE KAPAKK DEHH UNTIL WAIT DROOLICIOUS FOOD BECUM UNFABB FER DA BLENDD BLENDD -I-TOHTAHLEE-TASTE-NUTHANG-BUT-BUTTERR AHH!! DAMMMMMMMITT AHHHHHHHHH I WANN MA TASTEE BUD N FIERYYY APPETITEEE BACKKK LAAAAA FARKYYYY THROATTT!! SOOOO MUS INSISTT I TELL DA THROATT TALE 2OO MA DOCKKTORR U NOE SKALI SHE ASKK ME GOO PSYCHIATRISTT HOWW AHH??????? O!!O!! HAWWREEBLE AHH HAWWWWREEEBLEE!! IF GOO SHAWWPIN OR DOO GEREKK THANGG NO THROATIEE FEELIEE U NOE!! WEN FERGETT NOO FEEL, WENN RMEMBAA CANN FEELL!! STOMACHH ACHE FEELS BETTAHH DEN THROATIE FEELIEE AHH!! DIS OONE WAIT FOOD AHFFECKTEDD EVEN THOUGHHH HUNGRAYY aHH CHEETOTTTTTT!!

AFTAAA BEIN FLOODED WIT THROAT RELATED THANGGS AHH AND VISITTS FWOMM BERIBUU AUNTIE N UNCKLES AHH WEE WENT CENTRAL MARKETT DA TOILETT SOO NIZEE I FERGET BOUT MA THROATT I FEEL NUTHANGG BUT HUMAN AHH!! I MUS FINDD FWEE BRAINWASHINGG ACKTIVITAYY COURSE AHH!! DIS BRAINN AHH WEN DOWAN RMEMBAA AH CANN RMEMBAA SOOO VIVIDD VIVIDD AH!! IF WANN RMEMBAA LYKKK PROMM OR OREOOBUBUSUKKSUKK DA ARMPITT HAIRR N SMELL AHH DA MEMORAYY BEECUM SHORTT TERMM AHH!!

WENN ARE WEE DOOWIN DA INTERROGATEEYON CONFRONTATIONN AHH?? VELIII GERRREKK AHHh!! SKEWWL OPENINN I LOOOYYKKEEEE!! CANN MEETT MEETT HERE DEHH AHHH!! BUT CHANELS NAWWT XCITED IN FACINN DA SKEWWL INFRASTRUCKKTUREE AH!! WENN BOOKK OR MOVIEE SAYY " I PUKEE WEN I SEE UR FUGGLAYY FACE" CHANEL SAYS IN PHOBIACALLAYY HONESTAYY " CHANEL FEELS LYK WANN PUKE WEN SEE ANY YISHUN INFRASTRUCKTURE AH!!"

DATS WHYY LAAAAAA CNNT RMEMBAA YEST XMAS AHH!!
PPLE AHH!!MERRYY DA XMAS AHH!! MERRY MERRY DA XMAS!! UR PREZZIE LIES WITCHHMEE ALL FWOM ACTION CITAYY OONE WHICH I OSOO WANT AHH O AND AHH--- GOTT VIBRATIONN U NOEE GRANNYY!! I NOEE U LOOOOOOYKKKEEE AHH!!