Friday, October 19, 2007
, 8:50 PM
WAHHHWAHHH
WAHHHHHHHHH!!!! 2007EVEN HARI RAYAA WAS INCREDIBLAYY INCREDIBLAYY INCREDIBLAYYY WEIRDD AHHHHHHH!!!! EARLAYYY EARLAYYYYY DAMN EARLAYY IN DA MAWRNINGG!! THERE WAS A HUMANN ALARMM SYSTEM WHICH WAS FAR MORE EFFECTIVE AND PERSISTANT COMPARED 2OO DATT MARRRRRRRRVERRLOOOUSS DUNNOO WAT COOKKOOO CLOCKK AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SMMORE DA DAYY BEFOREE AHH SLEEP WAS BEIN SACRIFIZEDD U NOEE 2OO WAIT FER TAUFIK BATISAH 2OO APPEAR ONSCREEN WHICH ONLAYY OCCURED MIDNITEE DEHH AHHH!!!!!!!! O DENN AHHH!! DENN!! DA PLANN 2OOO DEFLATE ANAYY SORTT OF EYEBAGGS WERE IMMEDIATELAYY DIMINISHEDD AHH!!!!! DENN AHH MA MOTHER ASKED ME 2OO BATH FIRSTT AHHGAIN AHHHHHHHH!!! ACCHULI MA SISTAA KENAA DO DATT FIRSTT NOT MEE U NOEE!!!! SHEE TOOK DA NONGGNONGGGEST TYMM 2OOO BATH EVEN THOUGHH SHE NVAHH USE BARSOAP AH!! DENN AHH SHE OOSO TAKES UP DA NONGGNONGGGNONGGEST TYMM 2OOO EMERGE OUTT OF HERR ROOM FULLAYY DRESSED N SHE GIVES DA WORLD DA IMPWESSEEYONN DAT SHE SPENT HER TYM NAWWT DRESSINN BUT SEWINGG AHHHH!! SOO AFTAA BATH OOLEDI DENN CANN EAT UNDERR DA SUNN WIT NOOO FEAR OF EXPOSURE FWOM MUIS AHHH!! UNFORTUNATELAYY, AFTAA FINI EATINN, DA WAIT SETTLES IN AH!! DEN MUS WAIT FER MA SISTAA,MA MOTHERR N EVEN MA FTHR GOO BATH U NOEE!!!!!! BYY DA TYMM WEE STEPPED OUTT OF DA HOUSE AHH BUCKLED UPP IN BOOTS AHH I WAS DRENCHEDD IN SWEATT AHHHH DESPITE BEINGG BLANKETED BY DA WINDDFANN N AIRCONDITIONEDD AIRR AHH!! OOOO BUTT DA EYEE MAKEUPP WEN SOAKEDD GOTT DA SUNGGUHDWENCHEDDOUTLOOKK HAWWTT OOSOO AHHHH!!!!! DENN WEE GOO GWANDFTHR HOUSE U NOE!!!! WAHHHWAHHHWAHHHH!! WE WERE GREETED BYY OONE OF MA AUNTAY SAYIN ANOTHER AUNTY FAINTED U NOEE!! O UNFORTUNATELAYY CHANEL THOUGHTT DAT SHE WAS SPEAKINN DA METAPHORICKKAL WAYY THEREFORE CHANEL SAID SHE OOSO FELTT LYKK FAINTINN USIN DIS BOOTS WAT WITTT FLATTHEELEDDSHOESS FEETT OF MINE U NOEE!! WENN WE ENTER AHH!! WE SAW PANICKK WRITTEN ON BERIBUU FACES AHH!!!! MA AUNTAYY DA ROOM DEHH OOSO SOOOOOOOOOOOO DA FULL WIT PPLEE OONE AHHH!!!FIRSTT WE TOT DAT ''OOOO DIS OONE CONFIRMM MA AUNTAYY SHOWIN BERIBUU HER NEW FURNITURE'' DENN DA PANICKKFACES FLASHEDD IN OUR BWAINS SIMULTANEOUSLAYY U NOEE!! DEN DA WORD "AUNTAYPENGSAN" ECHOEDD AT DA BACKK OF OURR HEADSS OONE U NOE!! ( NOWW MA FTHR SIDE DA AUNTAYY IS IN MA HOUSE U NOE DENN DUE2OO HIGH DEMANND I IN DA ROOMM TYPEEBERIBU WORDS FER DIS ENTRY WHILE WORRAYYINGG U NOEE FER MA POOHH AHH!! BEECOS FTHR SIDE NEPHEWW JUS DEECOVERR DAT POOHH ON MA BEDD SINCE I FERGET CLOSEE DOOR U NOEE!! DENN AHH SCARRAYYYY U NOEE HE HUGGHUGG SKALII DOWANN RETURNN AHH??? OOMEEEEEEGAWWWDD HOWWHOWWW SOSOSOSOSOSOS!!!!!) O WE DENN GOO 2OO MORE OF OUR AUNTAYYS LOCATEEYONN 2OO ASKK FER MORE INFOO ON WATT EBBAHH HAPPENINGG AHH!! DEHH WEE DEECOVERED DAT MA AUNTAYY LITERALLAYY N PHYSICKKALLAYY FAINTEDD AHHH!!
1oAMMORNINGG: SHE WALKED 2OO HER PINEAPPLE TARTS FILLED CABINET N OPEND IT. SDDNLAYY!! SHE SLANTED N LEANED BACKKWARDS N FAINTEDD!! HERR FAINT WAS MET BY DA NEARBYY WALL WHICHH HIT HER HEADD WIT A RATHER LOUD BY LUCKAYLAYY NAWWT TRECHEROUSLAYY DANGEROUS !!THUDD!!
12PMAFTANOON:
I TINKK 7EVENN OR 6IXX OTHER AUNTAYS OF MINE N 3REE OR 4OUR UNCLES OF MINE INCLUDIN MA CUZZINS INCLUDINN MAAUNTAY(FAINTEDOONE) DA SON WAS ON HER BEDSIDE ASKINN HER 2OO WAKEUPP 2OO DWINKK WATERR BUTTT 2OO NO AVAILL SHE WAS STILL SOUNDLAYY ASLEEPP
3REEPMAFTANOON:
DA CHANEL FAMILAYY MADEE GWANDD ARRIVALL COMPLETEE WITT SHAWLS BOOTS N BANGLES DEN WAS OOSO GWEETED BY DA SHAWWKIN DEECOVERAYY OF CONDITEEYONN!!
5IVEEPMAFTANOONN:
MA AUNTAYY WAS STILL ALARMINGGLAYY ASLEEP OONE U NOEE!!! NOWW ALL THOSE AT HER BEDSIDEE SHOOKK HER GENTLAYY 2OO SEND SOME PHYSICKKAL TREMORS DAT ALLOW HER TO BE JOLTEDD OUTT OF HERR NONGGNONGG SLEEPP!! OONE OF MA AUNTAYY METAPHORICKKALLAYY SAID DATT SHE MUS BEE ENJOYINN HER NEWW BEDD 2OO A LARGGGEEELARRRRRRGGEE EXTENDD!! COMPLETE WITT NEWW MATTRESS SMMORE U NOE!! UNFORTUNATELAYY, OONE OF MA AUNTAYY DEECOVERED A RATHER BADD SIGN DATT STATEDD DATT SHE WASS NAWWT MERELAYY SNOOZIN U NOEE!! SHEE LIFTEDD UPP MA (FAINT)AUNTAYY DA HANDD DEN DA HAND DWOPP U NOEE!! I DUNNOO WATT U NOEE IF PPLE WHOO ARE MERELAYY SNOOZIN DA HAND SPPOSE 2OO DOO OTHER DEN DRAWWP IF LIFTED OONE BUT ACCORDIN 2OO MA AUNTAYY AHH WEE MUS CALL FER DA AMBULANCEE OR DOCTAA IMMEDIATELAYY AHH!! BUTTT ALL DA DOCTAAS DAT DAYY CELEBWATINN HARIRAYAA DENN DA MINICLINICKKS WERE ALL OFFOFF OONE AH!! SOO AHHHH!! DA AMBULANCE WAS BEINN CALLED SOSSOS AHH!!
5IVEEHOURSAFTERDAFAINT:
MA AUNTAYY STILL UNCONSCIOUS OONE U NOEE!! DENN DA AMBUULANCE ARRIVED AHH!! WAHHHHHHHHH FIRSTT TYMM I SEE DEYY ENTERR O BUT ALL DA AMBULANCE MENN NVAHH TAKE OUTT SHOOE BEFORE ENTERINN HOUSE OONE U NOE!! DENN DEY ENTEREDD AHH DENN AFTAA CHECKIN DIS DATT STILL UNCONSCIOUS DEYY CARRIED MA AUNTAYY IN2OO DA PLASTICKK FLEXIBLEE STWETCHERR DENN WENN REACHH FIRSTT FLOORR DEYY STROLLEDD HERR VIAA DA METALLICKKSTWETCHERR AHH!! WAHHHHH NVAHH BEFOREE SEEN OONE U NOEE!!
OONEHOURAFTAAAMBULANCEEARRIVED:
AFTAA USINN DA IRONN-LOOK-ALYKK MACHINEE FERR I TINK 3REE TYMS MA AUNTAYY WAS ACCORDIN 2OO DA DOCTORR 'REVIVED' BUTTT ACCORDINN 2OO WEE ALL 'CONSCIOUS' AHHH!! HENGGGG AHH HENGGGGG!! WIT HER CONSCIOUS WEE CANN NOWW SAVORR HERR PINEAPPLEETARTS WITT XTREMEEDELICIOUSSNESS AHHH!!
BYY DA WAYY AHHHH!! USUALLAY AHH MA AUNTAYY ( FAINT) WAS DA HOST FER MA GWANDFTHR HOUSE ASSISTED BY MA OTHER AUNTIES N MA MOTHERR N MA UNCLES U NOE!! DENN ALL HEADED 2OO DA HOSPITALL LEAVINN US , DA GWANNDDDCHILDWENN N DA CUZZINSS 2OOO HOSTT DA HOUSEE WAHHHHHH MENARIKK JUGAA U NOEE!!!! USUALLAYY BERIBUU CUMM U NOEE!! DAT DAYY DUNNOO WHYY AHH BUT BERIBUU CUMM LATE AFTAANOONN WENN EVWEEBODAYY XCPTT MA AUNTAYY(FAINT) WHOO WAS WARDEDD OONEDAYY OONE AHHH!! RETURNEDD U NOEE!! DENN AHH WE HOSTEDD 3REE OR 4OURR FAMILAYS OONI AHHH HENGGHENGGG!! NAWMALEE BERIBUU U NOEE!! WEN MORE PPLEE ARRIVEDD AHH DENN MA AUNTIES N UNCLESS RETURNEDD 2OO DA RESCUEE AHH!!
WHILEE HOSTINN AHH I ATEE LONTONGG AHH AS NYONYAA N KAKAKKZIRAA POTONGG LONGTONGG N KETUPATT N OONE THANG WHICHH LOOKX LYKK LEMANGG FER DA FIRSTT TYMM AHH!! WOOOHHHWOOOHH FARRRNEEE AHHH DEHHHHHH!! FIRSTT I CAWWMMENT " EHH EHHH CANTIKKNYAA U ALL POTONGG SOOO BIGGG BAHHGUUS UNTUKK DIMAKANN!!" DENN AFTAA DAT DEYY BEECUM ACCUSTOM IN CUTTIN AHH DENN I CAWWMMENT AHH " EHH EHH EHHHH UDAHH ACCUSTOMED NAMPAKK NOWW SMALL OOLEDI AHH!!" DENN KAKAKK ZIRAA SIGHEDD AHH DENN SAIDD AHH " EHH EHHH BILAA BIGG U ALL COMPLAINN BILAA SMALL PUN U ALL COMPLAINN --" MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!! DENN WEE ALL CONT EATINN N CUTTINN LORRR WHILSTT SHAMEEN WENNT ON 2OO DA INTENSEE SEARCHH FERR SERUNDINGG U NOE!! DEHH MEE NYONYAA KAKAKK ZIRAA N RINAA ALL STAWWP EVWEETHANG WEE DIDD 2OO ASSIST HERR IN HER SEARCHH FER DA SERUNDINGGXX AHH!! WAHHH WAHHHH WEE GOO OPENN EVWEE CABINETT N DRAWERR WEE SEE N RELEASE ALL DA TWAPPEDD ANTS N DUNNOO WATT INSECTXX OOSO U NOEE!! I OPENN PUSHH PULL CLOSEE ALL DA CONTAINERXX AVAILABLEE AHH IN DAA FWIDGEE UNTIL DA FWIDGEE TOWERR OF CONTAINERS INSIDEE OOMOS LOOKK LYKK ON DAA VERGEE OF COLLAPSINGG AHH!! SOOO WEE IMMEDIATELAYY CLOSEDD AHHH!! THEREFOREE AHH IN DA ENDD DA SERUNDINGG WAS NAWWT FOUNDD AHH!! DENN WENN MA AUNTAYY N UNCLEE CAME AHH WEE TOLDD AHH OF DATT MISHINGG SERUNDINGG DEYY SAIDD DAT MA AUNTAYY LYKK 2OO MAKE ON DA SPOTT NAWWT KEEP IN CONTAINERR MEANSS AHH DA SERUNDINGG CONTAINERR ACCHULI DOESNTT EXISTT AHHH!!!!! CHEHHHHTTCHEHHTTTCHEHHTT!! DENN AHH WHILSTT I STILL CONTINUEDD EATINN LONTONGG DEHH AHH NYONYAA N KAKAKZIRAA ALL DEECOVERED DEIRR FIRSTT TYMM NEWW FOUND TALENTT FWYINGG CHEEKENN N USINN DA TIMERR WHICHH WAS MAGNETIZEDD ON DA FWIDGEE AHHH!! WITTT DA CLOSEE SUPERVISEEYONN OF OONE OF MA UNCLE WHOO STAYEDD DEHH AHH 2OOO AVOIDD ANAYY OVAA ROASTEDD BLACKENEDD CHEEKENN AHHH!!
AFTAA AUNTIES UNCLES N CUZZINSS RETURNEDD FWOMM HOSPITALL DEHH AHH WEE HEARD DAT DA DOCTAA N NURSEDD AHH LAUGHEDD AT MA AUNTAYY UPROARIOUSLAYY U NOEE BEECOS SHEE MADEE 2OO MANYY PINEAPPLETARTS WITOUTT SLEEPINN AHHH DENN IN DA ENDD SHEE FAINTT DUE 2OO 2OOO LARGE AMOUNTT OF PINEAPPLETARTS BEINN MADE WHICHH INCWEASEDD HERR LETHARGICKK LEVELL 2OOO A MAXIMUMM LEVELL AHHH!! DENN I OOSO DEECOVERED OONE OF MA CUZZIN NONGGNONGGTYMMNOOMEETOONE AHH RIDZWANN AHH WAHHH HEE FWOMM MDOTTi DA OOLDOOLD OONE GOOO NGEE ANN POLAYY MAA BEHHLOVEREDD COURSEE DA MASS COMM AHHH!! O DENN AHH HEE ASKK MEE GOO DEHH U NOEE SOO AHH GOTT BERIBUU Q MARKKXX APPEARR IN BWAINN U NOEE GO DEHH AH?? HOWWHOWW?? DENN ALL DA BERIBUU Q MARKKX WERE IMMEDIATELAYY ANSWEREDD AHH WENN HEE ASKK U NOWW SEC WATT?? 4OURR OR 3WEEE?? O WAHHH WAHHHH ZWANKK YEWW AHH ZWANKKK YEWWWW DAAA YOUNGGGYOUNGGBEAUTAYYSTICKKXXWITTMEE MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! DENN I STARTT AHH TELL BOUTT YJAYY DA CANTEEN LAA DA INFRASTRUCTUREE DEHH LAA DENN HE SAIDD HE WENT DEHH BEFOREE HE COMPLIMENTT HE SAID NAWWT BADD AHHH!! WAHHHWAHHHWAHH!! DEHH AHH MA JAWW DRAWWPPED LYKK WATT BEECOS I NVAHH KNEWW COMPLIMENTT COULDD CUM SAMEE SENTENCE WITT DA WORDD YJAYY AHHH!! DENN AFTAA DATT AHH
8EIGHTTPMNITEE:
CHANELFAMILAYY, CIKKBADD AND CIKKYAMM WENTT 2OOO AUNTAYYSHIDAHH DAA HOUSEE AHHHH DENN I TINKK NOO MORE AHH??? DENN WENN GOO BCKK WAHH HIGHH TIDE AHH!! MUS GOOO PULL OUTTT BERIBUU STWINGG OF NECKKLACEE AHH N BANGLEES DENN THROWWOFF DA BOOTXX REVEALL DA DRYYFITTOUTFITT AHH DENN BERRDASHHDASHHH GOO TOILETT DENN MUSS FASTAAFASTAA GOO BATHH DENN SLAMM HEADD ON2OO PILLOWW N SNOREESNOREESLEEPSLEEPP AHHH!! ( O WENN EYE MAKEEUPP KENAA TAPPWATERR LOOKK LYKK NATURALLAYY GAWWT DAT OONE AHH!! NOWW MUS CHECKK BABAYY FOTOO AHH!! )
